I don’t know….

I feel alone sometimes. I feel alone a lot of times. I don’t know what happened to me. In the span of what seems to be less than a year and a half I have changed in a very negative way. My confidence is now quiet innerly-subjected dread. My colorful spirit is now bland and gray. The sparkle in my eyes have turned to a dull glint. Hidden by the the smile I paste on when needed,my personality is now a faint shadow of the beautiful ray of sunshine I used to be for those I talked to,for those I went to school with, and especially for the ones that cared. But now I feel like I am nothing but a waste,of space,of time,of everything. I try not to let it show,try not to reveal my feelings but when it comes to certain situations,a waterfall of emotion pours from my insides that causes attention to sway my way. I wish it were different. I wish I was better. I wish I wasn’t me sometimes…

What if I told you…

What if I told you,
that this experience,
this “us” thing might cause me to need you more.

We text on occasion,
but ever since Saturday night,
I’m starting to feel a little more open,
with you.

But you’re busy,
or sleeping,
or the issue that has a hold of your mind is distracting you.

I haven’t done this in a while,
so I might be a little rusty,
but trust me,
I will try,
even though it’s confusing,
and hard because I don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Just trust me,
and hold my hand,
and we’ll do what we can,
before it all crumbles….